Play by Ben Brooks



Sarah and David are sitting in a café. Sarah is drinking coffee
and David is not drinking anything. The smoking ban has not
yet been introduced and the general mood is melancholy.

DAVID: I feel sad about your dad dying.


DAVID: I don’t know.

SARAH: Do you really feel sad?

DAVID: No, but when someone dies you are supposed to feel

SARAH: I feel good.

DAVID: I feel good too.

SARAH: Why do you feel good?

DAVID: I feel good because your dad was fat.

Sarah lights a cigarette and puts her finger in her mouth.]

DAVID: Fat people spend every summer thinking,
Shit, I am
a fat fuck and this summer I am going to sweat to death
. I
feel good that your dad will not feel like that anymore. Your
dad will never think he is going to die again.

SARAH: He doesn’t care, David.

DAVID: If my dad dies I will feel confused.

SARAH: I will explain things slowly so you are not confused.
I will say, “Your dad has died,” in a slow voice, like you are
retarded or very very young.

DAVID: Thank you.

SARAH: I don’t think your dad will ever die. It is a hollow

DAVID: A hollow promise is different to a lie.

SARAH: A lie is different to blah blah blah. [
Puts packets of
unopened sugar into her half-finished coffee.
] Blah blah
blah, David.

DAVID: Stop that.


DAVID: Jesus died on the cross for us to live and you are
wasting your time doing that.

SARAH: Jesus didn’t die for us David.

DAVID: Yes he did. He died for everyone ever. It says so in
the Bible.

SARAH: I agree.

DAVID: Jesus was the son of God but also God at the same

SARAH: That’s really amazing.

DAVID: It is amazing and stupid.

SARAH: Jesus walked on water.

DAVID: Because he was the son of God and also God at the
same time.

SARAH: I saw a man walk on water on TV.

DAVID: That was just an illusion.

Shrugs and crosses her legs.] In Buddhism there are
no paradoxical sons of bitches.

DAVID: Jesus wasn’t a son of a bitch.

SARAH: Buddha was.

DAVID: Samuel L. Jackson was.

SARAH: Cool.

DAVID: When you die Samuel L. Jackson says, “Welcome to
paradise,” and he takes you to meet Jesus.

SARAH: Samuel L. Jackson isn’t dead.

DAVID: He is alive and dead at the same time.

SARAH: That’s really amazing.

DAVID: It is amazing and stupid.

SARAH: Once I saw Samuel L. Jackson standing at the end of
my bed and he said, “Everything will be OK,” and then
melted into me and made me feel happy and at peace.

DAVID: That was Jesus.

SARAH: It was Samuel L Jackson.


Sarah pours her coffee slowly onto the floor. David covers

Ben Brooks is a
young author
from the
southwest of
England. He has
work in Succour,
Willows Wept
Review and
Dogzplot. His
novella, "Fences,"
will be released by
Fugue State Press
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