Flash Fiction
Nancy brings it to his attention while they
are fooling around in the Oval Office, on the
Resolute Desk no less, during what he likes to
call his Back-Side Attack move, not even
bothering to remove his peach dress shirt even
though he had the buttons sewn on over Velcro
tabs so that he could get in and out of his
clothes quickly if it was needed, which is just
the way it was in the early days before he told
Gorby to “Tear down this wall,” which was a
mistake because the original speech had posed
it as a question, “Isn’t it time we took down this
wall?” which everyone can agree would not
have had the same impact. She says, “Golly,
they are sure starting to sag,” and Ronald
thinks she is talking about her breasts, or the
loose meat hanging on the back of her
buttocks, and he tries to keep her from going
down that dark road because she sometimes
locks herself in the Vermeil Room for days and
days in stark depressions and rerun after rerun
of the Jerry Springer Show and the other one
from that bitch Oprah Winfrey, so he says,
“Sweet-Cheeks, you are as beautiful as the first
day I saw you,” and his sexual energy gets a
little boost with the memory of how she had
given him a quick handie behind one of the
trailers on the set of “Bedtime for Bonzo.” She
had just grabbed him by the shoulders, slumped
into him and kissed him, and without even
looking around had unzipped his chinos and
went to it.

Those were some good times. He thinks about
flipping her about for the Duck and Cover, but
she brings everything to a stop with, “Your
testicles are what I was talking about,” and
Ronnie is transported back to his college days
with his Tau Kappa Epsilon brothers at Eureka
College, and how all of them started wearing
briefs after Neil Reagan, brother and famed
inventor of the incredible technical move, The
Salad Spinner, told them that their balls would
start to sag if they didn’t wear something with
some support, and Neil had even gone so far
as wearing a jock and then even a cup, which
earned him the title Double Bagger, and which
Ronnie thought was a bit over the top, but when
he finishes up with Nancy he grabs one of her
silver embossed hand mirrors and takes a good
look from the back side and from the front and
mutters, “Well, would you look at that. Would
you just look at that. Neil was finally right about

S. Brady Tucker is originally from Wyoming, and served as a
paratrooper with the Army's 82nd Airborne Division in Iraq. His first
book, Mormon Boy, won the 2011 Elixir Press Editor’s Poetry Prize
and was a finalist for the 2013 Colorado Book Award. His poetry
and fiction have won numerous awards including the Shenandoah
Bevel Summers Fiction Prize and the Literal Latte Short Story
Award. His work is forthcoming or has appeared in the Iowa
Review, Verse Daily, Poetry Northwest, Chautauqua, River Styx,
Asheville Poetry Review, storySouth, and many others.
by S. Brady Tucker